Some thoughts..


1. Ask married women where they are the most relaxed and comfortable and they often say at their parent’s house, especially those who live with their in-laws. They can get up when they want, do what they want, have good food and generally relax. Why is it normal that married women who spend the majority of their lives with their spouses are more relaxed and comfortable in their parent’s houses which they visit once in a blue moon? Does it mean that most women spend their lives feeling uncomfortable restricted in terms of clothing and their daily routines being determined by others? [That was rhetorical]. It is not even fair and I don’t get why people defend this hmph.

2. My colleague told me she was upset because her dad told her she was fat.  She is skinnier than me and cannot weigh more than 48kg. Skinny Asian (east) women seem to spend their entire life complaining that they are fat and they have men who keep telling them that they are fat when they weigh 45kg or less. Every adult woman is supposed to weigh kg or less or what? To hell with it.

12 thoughts on “Some thoughts..

  1. #2 – because female thinness = female obedience. The messages that we women are told daily by the media are that we are not good enough, I can’t stand it!

  2. 1. I’m really surprised how many people still live in joint families, I thought that was becoming rarer by the day with people moving to different cities for jobs etc.
    2. That’s fat shaming and it’s wrong and it needs to stop. Someone’s weight is their own business.

    1. 1. Many people still do. If the wife cannot wear what she wants, get up when she wants even if she doesn’t live with her in-laws or changes her habits entirely to put up a different face for the in laws, can it be considered that she is truly comfortable in her own house? If it were her own house, the in laws should adjust to their house and rules, not the other way round, right?

  3. I am most comfortable in my own home…the one I have with my husband and my kids!!😀 That’s unfortunately a rarity, I guess, for most people!

  4. In India patriarchy has really screwed up so many things. A woman who stands up for herself, does what she wants to do, speaks her mind is labelled as arrogant, evil and what not. Because I have a problem with most things women do/are forced to do under the garb of tradition, respecting elders and such bs, I am considered an outcast. Not that I care. My only effort is to teach my daughter to not listen to this bs as she grows up.

  5. That is unfortunately the sad truth. Forget living in some one else home, in my own home, if an outsider visits, they are so rude to tell me on my face – why do I not wear a chain, ear rings, leaving my hair untied or bindi or bangles – this is insane. my parents are fine but outsiders’ weren’t. This brings back to point #1 – you do not want to be known as “not – organized” or “what kind of a daughter your parents raised you?” or blah blah blah, even if you do not care about all these, you are forced to live what other people enforce that condition on you in the “other home”. This usually happens, when living in joint families.

    For #2 – my friend, due to some stress in personal life – she put on so much weight. She meets her parents after an year, instead of asking or showering with love the first time they see her.. they pick the topic of over weight. she was hurt. Sometimes, people just make certain comments and i don’t think they realize if that hurts other person or not. I used to tease so much about fatness at one point of time in my life too.. but when that person expressed how much it hurt. I stopped. My only concern now is, that there would be health problems and I express this to only people whom I am super close to.

  6. My dad once told me I was overweight (this is after I had a baby, by the way). I thought that was rather rich coming from someone who was not in the best shape himself!

    Raina.

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