Now that I am married for 3 whole weeks, I can’t wait to hear the standard question – “So, how is married life/ how is your life after marriage?”
I absolutely get where this comes from. In 99% of the cases –
- The woman moves to a new or different house/town after the wedding.
- She is dealing with new family members – ranging from the husband to his mom and his cousins.
- She may be wearing different (read traditional) clothes + jewellery after the wedding especially taking into account the innumerable pujas and functions that follow the wedding.
- She is cooking and doing a lot more household chores which she may not have done before marriage aka run an entire household on her own.
- Her husband may behave differently because they are married and in front of his own family.
- She may see her husband interact differently after marriage.
- She might have a completely different lifestyle, perhaps taking into account her husband and his family.
- She has to now answer to the husband’s family, even if she wishes to meet her parents.
- Lots of visiting family and relatives after the wedding.
- More ‘responsibility’
- The woman changes her surname
People, do you see how the entire situation is really unfair to women?!
This the worldview of marriage for a lot of people. Which is why, I love to hear that question and challenge people’s perspectives.
Random person – “So, how is married life?”
Me with a grin – “The same as usual. Nothing’s changed”
Random person – “What?! What do you mean?”
Me – ” I live in the same place. Same job. Same guy. Same clothes. Same amount of chores. Same friends. What do you expect to change?”
Note – I have been living on my own for over 5 years and I am used to running my own house, so I did not jump from zero to full on in a day. Yes, I will admit, living on my own 5 years ago was scary and tough.
On the other hand, there are guys who will say stuff like – “You know how things are now that I am married. I can’t meet you for drinks/dinner.” Unless, you have an infant to look after, I do not see how one’s social calendar can get filled up just by getting married!