How is married life?

Now that I am married for 3 whole weeks, I can’t wait to hear the standard question – So, how is married life/ how is your life after marriage?”

I absolutely get where this comes from. In 99% of the cases –

  1. The woman moves to a new or different house/town after the wedding.
  2. She is dealing with new family members – ranging from the husband to his mom and his cousins.
  3. She may be wearing different  (read traditional) clothes  + jewellery after the wedding especially taking into account the innumerable pujas and functions that follow the wedding.
  4. She is cooking and doing a lot more household chores which she may not have done before marriage aka run an entire household on her own.
  5. Her husband may behave differently because they are married and in front of his own family.
  6. She may see her husband interact differently after marriage.
  7. She might have a completely different lifestyle, perhaps taking into account her husband and his family.
  8. She has to now answer to the husband’s family, even if she wishes to meet her parents.
  9. Lots of visiting family and relatives after the wedding.
  10. More ‘responsibility’
  11. The woman changes her surname 

People, do you see how the entire situation is really unfair to women?!

This the worldview of marriage for a lot of people. Which is why, I love to hear that question and challenge people’s perspectives.

Random person –  “So, how is married life?”

Me with a grin – “The same as usual. Nothing’s changed”

Random person – “What?! What do you mean?”

Me – ” I live in the same place. Same job. Same guy.  Same clothes. Same amount of chores. Same friends. What do you expect to change?”

Note – I have been living on my own for over 5 years and I am used to running my own house, so I did not jump from zero to full on in a day. Yes, I will admit, living on my own 5 years ago was scary and tough.

On the other hand, there are guys who will say stuff like – “You know how things are now that I am married. I can’t meet you for drinks/dinner.” Unless, you have an infant to look after, I do not see how one’s social calendar can get filled up just by getting married! 


14 thoughts on “How is married life?

  1. Right after marriage, one of my husbands female cousins asked me “how is married life” but I thought she asked me “how was your marriage night?” (Like asking me if we had ‘relations’)…..and I was like UHHHH…..!!!!! We had a big laugh about it.

  2. congratulations.
    looking forward to read it !
    i am curious how is marriage cause i don’t think i have a very good role model lol kind of parents staying at home during the weekend and doing nothing particularly interesting, just shopping groceries =P

  3. I think its the persons attitude. I believe that we all change over time we are not the same people every year of every day. Some people tend to be picky about it and complain. And also i think the media projects this image of perfect couple which makes people believe it without thinking. Even when I said things dont change just because you sign a paper, people tell you it will in a few years(even outside of india). I dont get it. And some people after marriage just chop of their friends and almost pretend they dont exist anymore. If someone is making you take the decision its a serious concern for me as to whether it is the right someone for you. I agree may be you have to do more activities with your partner but you can always bring along ur partner for a coffee. We wont claw them. I think this stems from lack of effort in getting to know the partners friends. Iam not saying forcibly being dragged to everywhere but if its something one likes too. I have few friends who have vanished from very existence once they tied the knot. And i so agree the cooking part is a necessity for everyone who is abroad and stops being an issue until you are lazy. You have a stomach you need to eat end of story. So either one of the partner needs to cook . take outs work but you never know what all goes into it so in my opinion cooking is one of the basic survival skills 🙂

    1. – Yeah, there are so many people who say “just wait and watch. things will change”. Yes, of course, things WILL change even if you are not married. Life changes all the time!

      – Ah, don’t get me started on the number of people who disappear just because they got married. I just do not get it. Yes, you are busy. Yes, you have a partner. But he cannot be everything all the time. Of course you need friends. Some do not even have time to respond via email. I believe, it is less of a time issue and more of an interest issue. When you did not have a partner, it is fun to spend with friends and the moment you have someone filling that void, you stop caring for everybody else.

      – Yes, cooking is a basic survival skill irrespective of the gender.

      1. Sometimes the email response thing is also lack of motivation an also sometimes its an issue due to comparison i feel. They always have this feeling of my life is better than yours kind of attitude. The friends who disappeared and suddenly contacted just wanted to rub in how awesome their life was. Wait a bit more n then u will hear any news? i feel like asking u didnt check the news paper? they are online these days you know thats the news

  4. Congratulations on your marriage. I agree; I too lived by myself for several years before marriage. Plus, I fully expected my husband to take his share of the household chores, which he did and does!

    1. Even, I used to assume it was close to impossible. Sometimes, things we have been brought up to believe as truth is actually relative!

      I am yet to write all the story from the wedding until now ah!

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