When getting a wife is easy

We were watching Godavari the other day and there is this scene where Ravi is very condescending to his fiancée, Raji. It is an arranged match. 

U made an observation that Ravi was rude and condescending because he did not work hard to get the girl. Finding and having a long-term girlfriend is not easy and generally people would not treat their girlfriends like that because the girl would simply leave.  Without arranged marriage, would these guys even find women as they did not even have basic skills to interact with females?

This observation is absolutely spot on.  I often feel that these men have no incentive to step up the plate because they women will put up with their behaviour (whatever the reasons maybe for putting up). I was shocked when someone told me that their husband barely talked to them after coming home from office and never ever helped in the house. I could not believe the way she normalized it and told me that most of her friends had similar experiences. I do not think her husband would have a girlfriend with that kind of behaviour had he dated some woman here.

This guarantee that men will find a wife via arranged marriage makes them think they can behave like A-class jerks and still get a wife + dowry. All they have to do is have a job and earn money.

I am not telling women to start throwing tantrums for every little thing or threaten to leave for every little thing. But please, you do deserve to be treated with basic respect and consideration. And yes, the entire household does not run with your labour alone.


5 thoughts on “When getting a wife is easy

  1. Soooo true. In the arranged matches in our family,nth guys just behave like jerks – because they are guys and they can get away with it because it is up to the girl “to adjust”. Bleh. So many of the men come and go as they please and not even say basic things like happy birthday. It is gross. The wives are clearly not happy, it makes me sad for them. Men should be taught that it is important to woo and date your spouse even after marriage.

    1. People would date and woo their spouse when they felt they worked hard to get her and need to work to keep her. When you are sure that your wife will leave no matter what, you have no incentive to step up. And basically, we do not think women are human beings too 😦

  2. I’m seriously angry over this marriage concept again today.. A male friend of mine told me tat he has put conditions on his gf (they hav spoken at home and will b married in a year) tat she shud nt talk to any boy on msg or call after 10 pm. He was pissed that she attended some other boy’s call while he was trying to call her. He s angry that she spoke to a guy who had proposed her n she had rejected.. But let’s look at this guy.. He flirts wid me all the time and I hav to remind him tat he has a gf.. He msgs me gn at 11 pm every night accompanied with kiss smilies. He also commented that I look hot in a saree.. I asked him what if she did all this ? The only reason he can give? He s a man.. Men are jealous! Sooo irrational.. I wud not stay in a relationship or get into a relationship with any sexist guy! I am amused how lightly girls tak it and ‘adjust’ for getting married !!

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