We were watching Godavari the other day and there is this scene where Ravi is very condescending to his fiancée, Raji. It is an arranged match.
U made an observation that Ravi was rude and condescending because he did not work hard to get the girl. Finding and having a long-term girlfriend is not easy and generally people would not treat their girlfriends like that because the girl would simply leave. Without arranged marriage, would these guys even find women as they did not even have basic skills to interact with females?
This observation is absolutely spot on. I often feel that these men have no incentive to step up the plate because they women will put up with their behaviour (whatever the reasons maybe for putting up). I was shocked when someone told me that their husband barely talked to them after coming home from office and never ever helped in the house. I could not believe the way she normalized it and told me that most of her friends had similar experiences. I do not think her husband would have a girlfriend with that kind of behaviour had he dated some woman here.
This guarantee that men will find a wife via arranged marriage makes them think they can behave like A-class jerks and still get a wife + dowry. All they have to do is have a job and earn money.
I am not telling women to start throwing tantrums for every little thing or threaten to leave for every little thing. But please, you do deserve to be treated with basic respect and consideration. And yes, the entire household does not run with your labour alone.