On maternity leave and values

A rant. Venture no further, if you do not like rants.

I have pretty lame and racist colleagues as I have discussed previously on this blog. And this afternoon I am  was pissed in office. No point getting angry over people you can’t change. They still make plenty of lame statements regularly though they try not to be racist in front of me.

Colleague A (male) commented how women who DO NOT work till the last day of their pregnancy are taking advantage of the system and are not dedicated to their jobs. They are lazy and there is no reason they should be sitting at home doing nothing instead of being at their job. A’s wife is about to give birth to a third accidental unplanned child next week and she is still going to office. That pissed me off. I told him to talk when he carries the foetus. Why the hell should women work till the moment their labour starts. Why the hell should they be back in office 2 months after giving birth? As many people here are workaholics, they are all back in office in 2 months. One of my ex-colleagues was. Immediately, another female colleague jumped to his defense and said it was better for women to work till the moment they go into labor as many of her friends did.

When you have a fucking lame system, admit it and how we can change. Don’t try to defend it. 

I told them it was lame and who wants to spend time in the office when they can relax at home in the last leg of their pregnancy and spend time with the baby after the baby is born. Why should the woman rush back to office in 2 months. That does not mean she is not ‘dedicated’ to her job. Why should women NOT enjoy their pregnancies and babies. Of course, a mother is going to be more dedicated to her baby in the initial months than to her boss. What is wrong with that?!

I cannot tolerate it when women also defend the argument and feel women should return to work ASAP.  Like, they are not humans. They are machines who give birth and should be roaring to go to their jobs and not miss their baby. If they don’t, that reflects poorly on them and they are LAZY.

Also, talk turned to how expensive confinement ladies are. Confinement ladies are women who live with you and cook special dishes in east asian culture after you give birth for about a month or 2. They look after the mother and the baby and let the mother sleep in the night. Again, $1000 is nothing for a month of someone cooking and taking care of you and the baby. But that is bloody expensive but spending $3000 on a branded bag and $1000 on a wallet is considered absolutely normal. Add to that, an expensive car (200,000) because you need be seen in a BMW/Merc. They NEVER complain about that!

What kind of a value system is that? Money is all that matters in this society. Money is not for you to enjoy what you want but to show off and make other people jealous.

You want to work till the last day of pregnancy in office till you can feel your contractions and want to be back in office a month after giving birth, go ahead. But do not complain about how you have no support when you defend and support the system and impose your social norms on everyone.

Note: This does not mean I feel every woman should stay home tending to her baby for a year. You are welcome to do whatever feels good to you but that does not mean you can be condescending to women who want more time at home with their babies. 

6 thoughts on “On maternity leave and values

  1. God, how awful. Are they stupid? Like I am really questioning their intelligence.
    In the 9th month, the child’s gigantic head will have dropped into the pelvis anywhere from 3-6 weeks before delivery. That means that you’re pissing yourself constantly, waddling around like a penguin, having back pain, and every time you stand up it feels like a bowling ball will fall out. Also, after the 7th month, the baby will start to kick A LOT. Like kick the shit out of you, so much so that you get woken up every time it decided to kick! Being pregnant is so hard and undervalued. I had to take off work with medical leave for my pregnancy since I was so sick that I was vomiting blood and couldn’t even drive because the medication they prescribed me for morning sickness made me dizzy. It was awful.
    Then after birth, you can’t just bounce back. It takes almost a year for the body to recover. Plus breastfeeding!!
    The colleague is clearly clueless and I feel sorry for his wife!!!!!!!! This is exactly why paternity leave should be mandatory so jerks like this know the real meaning of hard work – staying up for 48 hours + with a crying infant…..do you know that’s how they “break” Navy SEALS? They make them listen to baby’s cries for days on end and the guys go mad.

    1. He is a patriarchal jerk who spends more time being sleazy with other women. They do have paternity leave and then they relax at home or look after other younger kids than the baby. I guess he is jealous because he does not have as much maternity leave as the woman ha ha.

      Moreover, I could not believe my ears when young WOMEN defended him.

      The force (societal brainwashing and lack of critical thinking) is too strong within them.

  2. My issue with maternity leave is not the time off, nor the fact that it’s paid. My issue is that I feel everyone should get similar leave to pursue their own projects for a few months. Men, women who choose not to have kids etc.

    While it’s true that pregnancy and child birth are a huge labor (pun intended!), it’s a condition that is willingly undertaken unlike say, an accident. So I view the decision to have a child as a personal project a woman undertakes for herself and I feel it should be no different from a childless woman deciding to hike to the himalayas for a few months.

    Everyone should get a few months leave to pursue their projects. Women can use it to have children, while others can use it to write a book, or even just sit at home quietly and relax. It’s about choice. And despite the travails, pregnancy is just that – a choice.

    1. Yes, I feel people should be given few months off for their own pursuits but in this society that will be laughed upon. They cannot wrap their heads around the concept and will call people like that LAZY.

      Pregnancy may be a choice but in that choice there is not choice. If a couple wants a baby, they cannot choose who in the couple is going to be pregnant.

      Per se, I feel pregnancy and work women do at home have been undervalued and underpaid for a very long time. It is hard work and most people do not acknowledge that.

      Raising a child is quite demanding too and in many cases, the women ends up doing a large part of it. Why is another long discussion.

  3. ‘Colleague A (male) commented how women who DO NOT work till the last day of their pregnancy are taking advantage of the system and are not dedicated to their jobs. ‘ – such a marvelous way to decide productivity .. such irritating people..
    I have seen this attitude in the father of the to be born child too. As things are so hunky dory for the mother as she does not have to go to office and is getting pampered at home..

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