Why do people pull back and shut down after being opening up? Why do they put up a façade after showing you a glimpse of their issues?
I have been noticing a pattern lately.
People open up. Tell me about their problems. Expose their vulnerabilities for a brief meeting when they need support. Go into the details of what is wrong in their lives. Ask for advice. Hash it out.
After that one time, they grow distant. They shut down. They pretend their problems no long exist. They act invulnerable. They seem too busy in their perfect little lives. Questions about their lives are met by ‘cannot be more perfect’ answers. Questions about their problems are ignored and you get irrelevant answers.
Why does one single act of being vulnerable make people feel so ashamed that they will cease contact with you and pretend nothing happened?
It is a stereotype that men withdraw emotionally and grow distant. All the cases I have experienced this month are of women who showed me chinks in their ‘perfect lives’ and withdrew afterwards. Don’t tell me everybody’s problems disappears overnight.