Good girls don’t do that

I was in the train yesterday.  There was a mother with her 2 kids sitting – a girl and a boy. When the girl was sitting in the seat and folded her legs, her mother immediately scolded her  and told her to sit properly.  She pulled down her frock like protecting her modesty. The girl was not showing her panties [ I have to clarify that in case anybody brings that up]. I don’t get why people expect children  young girls to sit like robots.  

Mother: “Good girls sit properly. Good girls don’t sit like that.Sit quietly with your feet down”

Girl: “Why only good girls have to do that? I want to be good. I like being called good girl.”



I saw that her son was sitting with his legs folded on the seat and she never said anything to him.

Three things:

  1. It is blatant gender discrimination. Why tell only the girl and not the boy? Why the hell do we expect kids to sit still & “properly” like robots in the first place?
  2. This is how it starts. Since young, parents, teachers, society tells women how to be, do and how to please everyone. Then, how do we expect girls to grow up to be confident people? It is always about trying to please others. 
  3. Just because a country is developed does not mean gender discrimination disappears. Even if  there is safety, education, freedom for women and no dowry, preference for sons & preferential treatment still exists. When I first came here, it looked like there was no obvious gender discrimination and women seemed to have it good here. As time passed, it sometimes troubles me when I witness how deeply gender discrimination is entrenched in the psyche of the people. Women are taught that they are inferior for no reason other than them being women. 

Like I said before :

Better be a happy girl than a good girl. These 2 things may be doing the same thing at times or maybe not. Stop sacrificing your entire life just to be called a good girl. Do what makes you happy*

*What makes you happy without harming other people.  If  giving people/animals pain makes you happy, you need help. We all need to compromise but that should not always be you doing it and giving up your core essence. Also, people who are hurt because you wear a certain dress or marry whoever you want, does not count because you are not harming them. They are choosing to be hurt by what you do with your life.

5 thoughts on “Good girls don’t do that

  1. I totally agree. One time one of our friends tried to correct my daughter’s sitting position “to be more ladylike”. Of course they have a son. I thought it was ridiculous. They should be treated the same!!
    I want my daughter to not give a crap about how she appears to the outside world – and just be herself.

    1. Yes we repeat but why repeat only to girls. I can get over it if you tell both your children the same thing – sit properly. But why only girls?

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