I was reading this email from a married woman describing her problems on IHM’s blog and I was appalled. I could not understand how an educated adult working woman could put up with things like that. This is what most women are conditioned into. They rarely go against it because the repercussions are severe. Instead, everybody slowly waits for the systems to change.
Every woman needs to learn that:
1. They are worthy.
You do not need permission to exist on this earth and you do not need to earn your place by constantly sacrificing. Stop believing things like:
“We did you a great favour by letting you be born/raising you. So many girls do not get that opportunity. So, be grateful and do what we say.”
Babies do not magically enter people’s wombs. Somebody had sex right? Somebody chose to give birth right? The baby did not request for rental of womb space or ask to be born. Then, let them take responsibility for their actions instead of pushing it all onto the child.
“We loved you, raised you, we educated you and now, you do not want to do what we want you to do.”
If you have a child, it is your responsibility to provide them basic needs. People cannot use it as a bargaining card for manipulating the child in the future and make them do what they want.
Nobody did you a favour by letting you be born. Nobody has to keep doing things for life in return for letting them exist. If you are so grateful for being raised well with a good education, then give it back to the world. Have you really become an adult, if you have to ask for permission from someone else? An adult is and should be capable of going about their daily lives without having to turn to someone older for every single decision they make. Asking for different opinions/advice is great but people need to learn to take responsibility for their life.
2. One needs to set boundaries
Would you allow someone to throw your phone on the floor and stamp on it? No right? Then, why do so many women allow all and sundry to treat them with disrespect and order them about? Why are they hesitant to stand up for themselves to be treated as beings with no respect or desires?
Setting boundaries is not disrespectful, it is respecting yourself.
3. Being “a good girl/bahu/wife” is bullshit big time
There I said it. How many times have we been told that –
Good girls marry who & when their parents want.
Good girls wear traditional clothes.
Good girls do not question religion.
Good girls do not hang out with friends.
Good girls sacrifice.
Good girls become good wives.
Good girls are not sexual.
Good girls listen to their in-laws and husbands.
Good girls cook, clean & have kids.
Good girl program is for getting robots out from humans. It is a program for controlling women systematically for benefit of certain sections of society. It is for manipulating women into doing what others want.