When will we grow up?

After the death of the Delhi girl, the Indian government finally woke out its long long slumber and lethargy and decided to work on the legal system to make some changes. They are inviting some letters and here is one of the letters which I saw was shared on Facebook and it made me roll my eyes. 

“10-15 years before, the same men were existing. Then, the men feared to touch women because they had been given that much of dignity in our society. Of late the media, particularly, the internet is making women as sex symbols for men and hence the men is starting to see every women/ girl anotomically with contaminated eyes. Hence these incidents in the society.”

The media did not report such crimes earlier. Women kept quiet out of shame and honour. There were no people moving around cities or nations. There was not much of a mass media to spread the news. There was no Facebook to click share. Women were treated much worse than before. Women were seen and treated as maids and baby producers. Nothing more. Contaminated eyes? Then fix the contaminated eyes. Not what the eyes see.

“When the men see all these lakhs of sites that are spreading child sex and family sex, they think that this is a common thing that happens everywhere. So, he dares to treat his own daughter like that.”

Dares to? Aren’t adult men sensible and mature enough to make rational decisions?They do whatever they see on TV? Then why is everybody not running around killing people because we so much violence in television and movies? People please use your senses. I do blame violence and sex in media too but then it is a reflection of life and these exist because they have viewers. What were movies of yesteryear showing? Women with no lives, as inferior people, nothing except a maid to the family, so was that how people were treating their women.  

“In China and some Arab countries, these adult sites have been banned and they are filtered in their master servers itself. So, these sites could not enter into the servers of those countries. So, the crime rates in those countries are also less.”

So in China these sites are banned but what tells you people are still not using them? Adult sites? Go look at old Indian temples for starters. The crime rates are less because the law is strict.

“If the government bans the following things, I assure you that the crimes against women will come down to much extent:

If possible, create our own search engine like done in China”

and make a nation of uninformed people fed with government propaganda and that considering how our government is.  

“Ban the production and sale liquor in all states as most of these crimes happen in drunk state. Why the government is getting tax money from tobacco and liquor companies and then spend more than that tax money for treating the affected people? Is this not ignorance?”

 Stop treating people like kids. If you cannot handle your alcohol, do not drink. Not every person who drinks is evil or commits crimes.

“Impose rules that prevents the men and women behave excessively in public places.”

Impose rules on the statues in old Indian temples as well then. 

“We have been seeing that some couples are acting in an ugly manner in public places like parks, shopping malls, beaches, etc. Also consider the vulgar dressings also that definitely induces the preteen/ early teen girls and boys.:

FYI Humans are sexual creatures. Induce sexual behavior? I thought that was the job of hormones. Great we are helping nature. What does nature want? Pass on the genes to next generation.

Ban the schools taking special classes after school hours and offering special clases on holidays because abuse happens then.”

School children will love you. All children irrespective of gender may be sexually abused.

“Ban night shifts and shifts after 6 pm to women in companies.”

Why not tell abusers to behave instead of controlling the abused? Every adult has the right to freedom as long as we are not harming or infringing upon the rights of other citizens. Again shifting the responsibility on women. 

“Ask the government to frame rules thinking as Indian. The rules of America need not fit to India, as we have a different cultural background. In the name of globalisations, we should not allow our culture to be diluted. Let us globalise our own glorious culture throughout the world.” 

Stop making this a cultural argument. If you feel so strongly about Indian culture, then get off Facebook. Stop using your cell phones. Stop wearing shirts or pants. Stop using computers. At the end of the day, we are all human beings. Being Indian and being burdened with 5000 years so called culture means nothing if we behave like uncivilized brutes.Where was that 5000 years culture when you are being uncivilized?

“Restrict TV serials and movies that is showing characters of husbands marrying multiple women and wives marrying multiple husbands.” 

Why not then restrict Mahabharata, Krishna and Ramayana and all the Indian gods. How many wives did krishna have? How many did Dasaratha have? How many did Arjuna have?

“As the media is reducing the values of women and show them as sex symbols, the youth also tend to marry girls with the same mindset and hence of late more dissatisfactions and hence more divorces in India.”

Oh, what a reason for rising divorce rates. You want the truth. It is because women can afford to divorce now. They could not 20 years ago with the society, family pressures and no money or an ability to live alone.


Seriously grow up and look at the real issues. The issues are a complete and utter failure to consider an adult female as an intelligent and thinking species as a man. Stop borrowing Christian and Victorian prudish ideas on morality and sex and imposing it in the name of Indian culture. It does not matter how great your ancestors were 300 years ago but what you are now and what you do now. That is what is in your hands.

Let’s collectively working on being nice people irrespective of how our ancestors were thousands of years ago. We can do that right?


3 thoughts on “When will we grow up?

  1. I think that these are a little more complicated than they are made out to be. Whether public display of affection or short dress induce crime or not, I find them offensive. If somebody is inspired to commit a crime, then he is a pervert. Sorry, I am not particularly interested in seeing the undergarments of anyone be it man or women. This is not freedom but vulgarity. What about my sensibilities? if I go to a public place, and see something, I should look away. The onus of decency is on me and not on the other person. I don’t have problems with girls and boys holding hands, but sometimes the intimacy is little too uncomfortable. A public place is a public place. Here being adult and behaving maturely strangely does not come into the picture.

    As far as women and late shifts are concerned, let’s face it, our cities are not safe. There is no mincing of words about it. There are lonely stretches, unlit roads which are not safe for anyone. We have got to fix them and make them safe for everyone. Till that happens one must stick to safety. We have to create a conditions where more women are on the streets and reverse thing trend. This is something we must do.

    Yes, there is a need to raise our boys to respect women, and much needs to be done but let us not loose sight of the larger picture and yes there is a cultural aspect to it whether you like it or not our sensibilities are different. Everyone is not a women hater as it is made to seem. These finer points are not discussed because women have to put up with a lot in our society and we have a guilty conciousness. We want to block anything that does not suit our narrative because it would mean that we are regressive not modern. We take extreme positions on both sides while the solution lies in the middle.

  2. Very Apt … but there are so many loop holes in the system , loopholes in our cultural beliefs and also the loopholes everywhere …that makes people vulnerable to all the dangers. All the laws and the govt structure and seems totally impossible !! Lets not compare india to china /USA/korea … people in those countries are mentally mature and have commonsense which people in India are losing out on let them be educated / uneducated and i just cant relate to one reason …there are multitudes of them. It needs more than a miracle to change this. Or i would say an apocalypse.

    1. Why should we not compare when Indians compare the superiority of our culture to the bad and evil western culture. What makes them more mature that us. We should examine and learn what we can.

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