Observations about marriages in patriarchal societies – 2


I have been observing quite a lot of people getting married lately and been noticing a similar set of issues and patterns.

You can be marrying a partner chosen by your parents (AM) or a partner of your choice (LM).

If we to look at AM:

– There is very little time gap between knowing of the guy’s existence and the engagement and wedding. This means even if one party wants to have a longer period of time, the market trends do not allow that.

– There is hardly any emphasis on the girl and guy getting to know each other.

– There is a lot of pressure to get married after a certain age.

– The average number of times most couples meet before marriage/marriage is fixed is 2 and they almost always are accompanied by some family member. Some do not even meet before engagement.

– There is intense pressure not to call off the marriage, once it is considered fixed by family, even if you are miserable.

-To avoid the couple discovering incompatibilities between themselves, they are encouraged not to talk too much or there is not much gap between the time the match is fixed and the wedding.

– It can be that these kind of marriages can work out better than LM but depends on the situation, luck and the people in it.

 

to be continued…..

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