Observations about marriages in patriarchal societies – 1

I have been observing quite a lot of people getting married lately and been noticing a similar set of issues and patterns.

You can be marrying a partner chosen by your parents (AM) or a partner of your choice (LM).


If we were to look at LM:

 – Most of the cases, the people in the marriage have not really spent a decent amount of time together, like truly.

– Lot of them are not sure how their boyfriends will interact in presence of their family. link

– Lot of cases, people stick to this option as it seems less scary than marrying a stranger.

– There is intense pressure to ensure that the person you date is the person you end up marrying.

– Most families (in this context, it means parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and all those extended family) generally do not approve

– Extended families complaining against the spouses and fear of society leads to a lot disagreements between couples.

– Many parents disapprove because of the LM tag even if they have no issues per se with their children’s partners.

– Caste is still very important.

– Families use the reason for LM to guilt trip the son/daughter.

– Dowry/ gifts is still present and women in LM often do pay a lot of dowry to negate the fact that they are marrying a guy of their choice.


to be continued…….