Random thoughts on honesty and straight forwardness

People from some cultures tend to be more direct and honest in their opinions and my experience here tells me south east Asian culture is not one of them. They lean more towards talking so indirectly, you do not often know what they are hinting at (I am so clueless very often and I do not even know some issue was being discussed), not discussing problems and not revealing their opinions. 

I prefer (okay absolutely truly 100 times more) direct honest communication. I am terrible at getting hints and it pisses me off when someone says they seemed upset with you but nobody knows what the issue is. You do not tell me, I do not know. And I really value honesty. 

How can you close to a person and trust them when they do not show you their truth? Tell you their opinions? Tell you who they are?

This came into my head due to a recent incident. 

ABC complained about XYZ. I could not understand how in the world when XYZ and ABC have worked together for so long (more than a decade), ABC could not give their honest feedback on an issue directly to XYZ and instead rely on complaining behind their back.

I expect people to tell me the honest issue they have with the way I handle certain things, even if I were to work with them for a year or less and I couldn’t fathom how ABC could not have a frank discussion with XYZ and say “look, I think it would be better if things were handled this way la di dah…coz this this issue…..”

Why can’t we be honest?

Why can’t we be straight to the point instead of beating around the bush?

Why speak for 30 minutes instead of 10 because you did not get straight to the point?

Why cannot we be frank and discuss the issue in a neutral manner?


At least I know what exactly where my values lie – Honesty, frankness, straight forward and no bull shitting






3 thoughts on “Random thoughts on honesty and straight forwardness

    1. True, polite formal emails look longer than short emails but in some cultures where being direct and straightforward is seen as a negative trait, it gets to you after a point of time. There are so many times, I do not get the point after listening to them talk for 30 min, then what is the point

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