Gita rented out a room in a house from a young professional woman, Karen. The only other person in the house would be an old lady, Karen’s mother. Gita often has friends over to watch shows or to chat and she confirmed before renting out, if visitors would be allowed because some owners do not allow visitors. Then one day, Gita asks her friend to get her dinner and come over to her place. The friend comes. He is questioned by the mother. The mother deemed it unacceptable that Gita’s friend came into her room. Karen tried to reason with Gita and said she would compromise and male friends would be allowed as long as another female friend came along.
The mother said:
- None of my daughters ever brought a man inside this house before marriage till now.
- If a man is in the house or your room, you cannot close the door.
- Any sin happens, it is on me.
- Friends are allowed and males are allowed only when accompanied by a female friend.
This makes Gita question certain assumptions
- Gita is not family. She would like to close the door of her room because she rented out a room not a family. That room is her private space. She may share it with friends but why should she keep the door open when her friends are in? Isn’t this infringing on someone’s privacy?
- Isn’t it pretty inconvenient to look for a female escort every time you want to hang out with a male friend?
- If a male and female are in a room and they close the door, sin occurs which means the mother assumes they are having sex. So the only reason men and women meet up is not to chat; not to watch movies; not to listen to music; not to feel lonely; it is only to have sex? So, all married people are doing nothing but having sex, since they are having their own rooms every time they are alone?
- No male and female can be alone in a house unless married. So marriage=sex. One male+one female + one room = sex. Why is sex and marriage interwoven?
- This is making an assumption that the only sexuality that exists is heterosexuality. Males and females are not allowed to mix. What if Gita were homosexual and since women are allowed with closed door, she really was having sex with the girls and not with guys?
- No males before marriage enter the house. So how does one get to know their partner well? By meeting up for coffees every day?
Is it not ridiculous how people in the name of religion and culture make certain assumption and how these are used to control other humans at their very essence: control their bodies, their minds and their freedom? Isn’t this against the spirit of being human in the first place? Their thoughts and free thinking. Their wishes and desires?
Everyone is capable of having a good moral framework outside and independent of religion or our so called culture and every religious/person who follows the conservative culture rules need not be moral at all.Note: There is no harming of any individual involved. Nobody is being physically/emotionally hurt unless you take into consideration that one person is hurt when trying to impose their so called morals/rules on other people and are appalled that others do not think the same way.