Would You Still Love Me If?


Dear parents,

You have lovingly brought me up and encouraged me in every aspect especially my education and career. I know that you did the best you could in bringing me up and have been by me all this while. You have given me all the freedom you could according to the society. Would you still love me, support me, cherish me and not listen to our society or  ostracize me  due to fear of our society if:

  1. I refused to and did not do a course/degree you wanted me to?
  2. I refused to wear traditional clothes?
  3. I demanded equal rights and freedom?
  4. I did not believe in our religion and traditions?
  5. I refused to care about what our society says?
  6. I refused to get married?
  7. I refused to have an arranged marriage?
  8. If I was homosexual?
  9. I dated a lot before marriage?
  10. I had sex before marriage?
  11. I had a child out of wedlock?
  12. I refused to have a huge wedding ceremony?
  13. I refused to give dowry or foot the entire wedding bill and did not let you?
  14. I did not follow any of the rituals?
  15. I loved and married a person of my choice from another caste/state/religion/country?
  16. I refused to wear traditional symbols of marriage – Mangalsutra/thali, toe rings, sindoor, sari, bangles, anklets etc.
  17. I refused to cook and cook, clean and wake up early like a proper Indian woman even after marriage and did not even pretend to?
  18. I fought with my in-laws?
  19. I refused to adjust with my abusive spouse and divorced? or divorced since I felt we were just not compatible?
  20. I just adopted a kid instead of having my own?
  21. I did not want to have kids?
  22. I refused to abort my female foetus in spite of pressure from my in laws and husband?
  23. I had all daughters and no sons?
  24. You knew my real views on sex? Marriage? Religion?
  25. I was just my true self with you with no pretences?
Do you think we need to preserve such a tradition/culture and retain these kind of  negative practices that makes parents kill/ostracize/abuse children instead of collectively working on eliminating them and refusing to contribute to social indoctrination?

 

 

 

On Children -Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, 
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, 
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, 
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.


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