I was talking to a couple of students (post graduates in science and abroad) and one of them mentioned that she dreamt that I got married. Another girl immediately commented in a condescending manner that all we could do was hope as we were not even close to getting married. The assumed air of superiority just because she was engaged set me thinking. Is marriage and getting married among Indian women seen as a status symbol, something to boast about to your peers and in society rather than anything else?
I discussed this with LK and we both came to the same conclusion. Getting married is seen as a symbol of social status and something to be proud of (does not matter if you are in the shittiest marriage imaginable, you are married and that’s what matters) quite often in our society and sadly so. Of course, there are other reasons for getting married, but I am analyzing things from this particular aspect in light of the conversation. People think they can look down upon you just because you are not married and assume you must be miserable. Why, people cannot be miserable when married or what?
The more of the following conditions you satisfy, higher your status quo.
- Getting married at the right marriageable age
- According to your parents’ wishes – same caste, same sub caste, horoscope match etc.
- To a well settled guy
- A decent family
- Having your own house and vehicle after marriage
- Having a grand wedding
The question to ponder over is – Do meeting these conditions make you superior compared to other women?
In our society – Yes.
P.S -I am sure there are more of such conditions and these are such typical Indian terms in the marriage market and I am sure people of other nationalities wouldn’t really get these phrases. Contact me for an explanation 🙂