I have come across quite a few women who hate/dislike men either completely or having them as spouses/ boyfriends.
Here are a few examples of women whom I know who hate men as husbands/boyfriends.
- TS told me 2 weeks ago that she hated men but it was an irony that she had a lot of guy friends. She has been avoiding marriage for the past few years.
- JK always used to say that she hated Indian men and could not tolerate them. She had hardly any guy friends and no male relatives she was close to. Nevertheless, she wanted to get married and via arranged marriage. Her reasoning was that she did not want to disappoint her parents or cause them to lose respect in society because she had a boyfriend/ choice marriage.
- DL is scared of men and does not want to get married. If she does, it will be because of family pressure. She has no problems thinking of men as brothers or father figures but cannot imagine being a wife to anyone. She thinks marriage is suffering. Everywhere around her she has seen examples of bad marriages and women suffering but unable to get out of bad marriages.
- KM is married but says she gets irritated at the sight of Indian guys and avoids sitting in places where there are some Indian guys around. When asked why she finds the very sight of Indian men irritating though she is married to an Indian guy, she said that most guys except few like her husband were irritating.
- Even I used to hate men for a long time.
These are just a few of the examples I know personally. This raises the question as to why such women abound in our society yet; they are forced to marry without treating the root of the problem or their attitudes being changed.
One of the reasons, I harboured a deep resentment for men as they seem to get away with a lot of stuff and the freedom and status they have in our society. Earlier women may have accepted lower status without questioning but now with education, employment and exposure , we wonder when we can do everything as good as men, why are still walked upon. We can’t change the society, so we end up harbouring a deep hatred and resentment of men.
A point to note is that, however educated or independent our women are or how much they hate men, not marrying is never an option for Indian women. The society dictates it. That’s that.
We all need to think if fostering such a deep hatred for an entire gender is doing our society any good at all. Does it lead to healthy marriages or a society where people’s hatred is just bottled up?
S says that we have to look at it objectively. It is not a hatred of men but hating how certain norms are twisted in our society to subjugate women. Fair enough.
P.S: I have nothing against Indian men per se but as I am Indian I can only comment on the people I have come across 🙂